What do you think about you when you think about you?
Most people don’t consider this question but it’s an important one.
The way you think about yourself determines how you show up for yourself and how you show up in the world.
Negative self-talk leads to negative results. This is true 100% of the time.
This is because every thought you think generates a feeling that causes you to take certain actions, which in turn produce results.
Most people think their thoughts are facts. They think they’re simply observing something about themselves. They think it’s the truth.
What if I told you that those negative thoughts and limiting beliefs were totally optional?
You can choose to think anything you want and there is absolutely no upside to thinking something negative or limiting about yourself.
It doesn’t serve you to do this.
Maybe this sounds obvious to you, but I guarantee you have beliefs holding you back that you aren’t even aware of. Or, you have unhelpful thoughts you think are just the truth about yourself.
One I hear a lot from clients is “I’m just not good at (fill in the blank)”.
This isn’t a useful use of your brainpower.
Even if you’re not good at something there is no upside to telling yourself you’re not, especially if it’s a skill you’d like to develop.
The first step is becoming aware of what you’re thinking. I guarantee you’ll be surprised at what you see.
I know I was.
When I started taking the time to look at what my brain was offering me, I was shocked to see a lot of it was total BS.
There were so many thoughts that were holding me back. They weren’t the truth about who I was or my capabilities.
I started questioning the thoughts that weren’t serving me and made the choice to choose thoughts that would create the results I want.
I saw massive changes in my life when I committed to doing thought work.
Once you become aware of what you’re thinking ask yourself if it’s a thought you want to keep. If it’s not, get to work on releasing it.
It’s not about thought swapping (immediately changing your thinking in an attempt to feel better). That doesn’t work. Neither do BS affirmations.
Look at the sentence (thought) your brain is offering you as if you’re holding it in the palm of your hand (as my teacher, Brook Castillo, recommends).
Examine the thought from every angle and get curious about why you’re choosing to think it.
Then start “poking holes” in your thoughts and belief systems.
The way to do this is to ask yourself questions such as:
- How does this thought make me feel?
- Who do I become when I think that thought?
- Do I like the result it produces for me?
- Why am I choosing to think this thought?
- What’s the upside to believing it?
- Does this thought expand me?
- Is this thought a fact or a story I’m telling myself?
In time you will release thoughts that are working against you and start adopting ones that work for you.
Be kind to yourself when you start doing this work. It’s normal to start beating yourself up when you realize what’s going on in that brain of yours.
Don’t create unnecessary suffering. Release self-judgment and just be curious.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by doing thought work. I promise the effort it takes is totally worth it.
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