Do you think things should be different than they are?
Maybe you think someone in your life should behave differently, the world should be different, your past should be different?
When I notice myself in this mindset I ask myself these questions:
What if nothing has gone wrong?
What if it happened exactly as it should?
what if the experience is happening for me?
There are times when these questions are too far of a stretch for clients and even me (coaches are human too!).
Maybe they’re too far of a stretch for you right now.
You might be thinking there’s no way in hell a particular situation should be happening, that person shouldn’t have said that or did that thing, that the past should have played out differently.
That’s ok. Sometimes we want to feel bad about the “bad”.
When you’re having a hard time believing an experience is happening “for” you, exactly as it should, and that nothing has gone wrong there is still the option to shift.
Try telling yourself it IS happening.
This isn’t about trying to make yourself feel better. It’s acknowledging reality.
When you shift to telling yourself it IS happening you stop arguing with reality.
There is no more drama because you’re not telling yourself a story about how things “should” be.
It’s the story you’re telling yourself that’s causing pain and suffering.
Arguing with reality causes so much suffering and as Byron Katie so wisely points out, you lost 100% of the time.
There is no upside to arguing with reality. It’ a losing battle. There are no exceptions.
Once you get to a place of “IS” you can ask yourself “now what”?
The situation IS happening…”so, now what”?
Who do you want to be as you go through this experience?
You can’t control the situation, person, past, or thing but you get to decide who you want to be and how you show up for it.
This is great news, my friend.
If you enjoyed this post you might also like “What if your thoughts aren’t the truth”?